You may wonder, "When will I get over this? Will I ever truly be free from the grief process?"
I'll be honest with you all. I've had to evaluate a lot of things in the last fifteen years. Yes, it's been fifteen years since my first husband went home to be with Jesus.
If you look back at some previous posts, you'll see I've often said this about grieving the death of a loved one. "You learn to live with it, but you never get over it."
I've questioned myself about that. I've thought "We'll Susan, maybe you should be over it. After all it's been fifteen years." I've wondered if I was wrong for feeling that way. I've thought, "Maybe I'm not fully trusting Jesus." Even though I have moved on with my life, a part of me will always miss my first husband. He was my friend and nobody can ever take the special place he holds in my heart.
So I decided to take some of my own advice. I signed up for the daily emails for grief recovery from GriefShare. (see my side bar for a link to sign up) I'm so glad I did. I'm only on day four but after reading a quote from Dr. Larry Crabb, who I highly respect as a man of God, I feel a burden lifted. I feel like I've been given permission to say, "You learn to live with it, but you never get over it." Well, at least this side of Heaven...
Listen to what Dr. Crabb has to say about his grieving experience:
"It's been seven years, and I'm still going through it," says Dr. Larry Crabb, whose brother died in a plane crash. "I don't know if it's a very holy thing to admit, but when someone says, 'Well, it's been a week, a month, a year--Larry, for you it's been seven years. Get a grip. Where's your faith in Christ, for goodness' sake?' I get really angry.
"Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there's going to be an ache that won't quit. The grieving process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the pain."
Yes, and that's the key, NOT BEING CONTROLLED BY THE PAIN. You never truly get rid of the pain, oh it will lessen in many ways through the years, but I believe with all my heart, we won't have a pain free existence until we go home to be with Jesus. Jesus says in John 16:33, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
So what do you do when those pangs of loss wash over you anew, when those inevitable triggers happen? Cast your burden of pain at Jesus feet. Simply call out to Jesus and ask for help.
I've been reading in the book of Jeremiah and I see God continually reaching out to His people, pleading with them to come to Him. Listen to what God says to Jeremiah in chapter 33, verse 3. It's important to remember that at the time, Jeremiah the prophet was locked up in the court of the prison for proclaiming God's Word.
"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know."
Call out to Jesus today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Call to Him next week, next month, next year. Don't let a day slip by where you don't call on the name of Jesus.
Remember, He loves you and I do to. Give it to Jesus, all of it... no... all of you.
With much love and prayers,
Susan
